Yesterday just revive my NS letter, when I am in school my younger brother sms me that I need to report to pulao tekong on 17 February 2010. My dad open the letter because got his name printed outside of the letter. So ya lets come back, when i receive the letter I was felling so mix up. I don't know weather I am sad, happy, scared or what.
When I reached home my younger brother was so excited for me, my dad was like wow he was a kid but so fast he need to go army liao. Then my mum was like worried this and that. I really don't know why I am scared. Really don't why. I really need a hug a warm hug from you. I need to cancel off my next year plan everything. WOW! so stressed up. Hiax.
My dad yesterday explained to me that it isn't that scary its just a longer slim down camp to go.
Yesterday when I started to sms few friends that I think they are, that I maybe can't help them in their film and I end up kena her attidute and I didn't said that I DON'T WANT to help her. I am only just suggesting that it is really not eenough time for the papper work. but I end up kena by her "TSK" attitude in the conversation. After the conversation she removed me from her twitter so there are no ways and I post this on facebook: "I knew it long ago, you block me and everything. You don't even treat me as friend any more so what's the point? Why don't you just say it out? Are you acting every time in front of me? Have you tot of how I feel? You just care about yourself. Do you think I don't want to do it after ITE? Do you think I want to go for that long trip? Giving attitude is not the only way to change your future. I think you really need to go think about how you react. Without me you also can do it. Wake up and think of good solution. Don't because of one think and get angry over it." So she ask one of my friend to pass message to me and said that: "She is not angry....If you think I want to change, I think you should change more than me....I removed you from twitter is because I don't trust you any more...etc..."
So yesterday I was very sad about this matter but I feel sad is still because of the long NS BMT. I am now still at home not going to school yet. Is this the real me? Am I that little? OMG! I can't believe that I am scared of this BMT thing.
I really feel so disappointed about myself.
After what happen yesterday, I tell myself no matter what happen do not tell people how you feel is the most important thing. People will act in front of you if they don't like you, so what's the point of letting others know how you feel when they don't? Okay it seem that everything is my fault. Okay maybe is my fault. You really need to give me time to change, right? Can't tell me to change like after you blink, correct?
Now my mind is empty I really need some one to lead me. Now I am listening to song trying to just cheer myself up.
Yes! you hate me. I know. I got feeling okay. I can feel. But the only think is I don't really think until that accurate so I will always have mistake here and there.
I notice when time pass, my post, tend to get longer and longer. More feeling in my post, English getting better. When I sing I tend to sing with more mood and feeling. I get hurt more. I see more personality.
After all this year, I would really like to thanks all who had been tolerating with my nonsense. Giving me advise in my work or life. Guiding me along either mentally or physically. To those who hated me for what I have done. To those who I hate. All this little things that had made me grow. I would like to say a big thank you for everything that you had thought me in either mentally or phsically. In my heart everyone, everything in my life is really precious to me. Thank you so much. For those who I had help before or need my help, sorry for the little things that I can't help before. I really had tried my best in everything I do. I wish all the little things that I do would benefit in your future or in your life. I would also like to say sorry to those who I break promised and hurt you. I really wish you can forgive me in both mentally and physically. Would like to say thank you to those for laughing at my lame jokes and play along with it. Thank you so much.
I know some of you don't trust me, yes I know. What can I do? nothing much but to just continue with my life, I know I sound arrogant, but this is really how I feel. After this 2 year, I had learn how to be naughty and also to be self-fish. Some times people thend to cheat me and also make use of me according to others. Never mind then Okay got to end here.Wow my hand pain sia.....
